Advice for women who are too pregnant to function anymore:
Inevitably your husband will come home to find you unable to move under the weight of this gigantic fetus you are carrying and will want to know why the house is a mess and dinner isn't made and then you'll want to stab him because this is all his fault but you don't have the energy to find a clean knife.
And you'll want to explain how completely exhausting being pregnant is but men never understand so whenever Victor would say "How can you be tired? You hardly did anything today!" I'd respond, "I made someone's ear canals today. Inside my stomach. Without even using my hands. What did you do today? Paperwork? Gosh, how exhausting. I MADE SOMEONE'S NERVOUS SYSTEM."
Then my husband would walk away, suitably impressed. Or scared. Either way he left me alone. And this is how you have a successful marriage.
from here
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5 comments:
oh wow. that was really good.
hah...i will use that when i am prego.
wow words of wisdom! love it and i will use it!
I laughed out loud for a long time. Then I tried to read it out loud to Chris, but was laughing too hard. That is really funny! I'm going to have to post that on my blog!
Come on men, stand up and fight a little on this one... I mean we can prove it was at least 50/50, or 60/40 or 75/25! We can't lay down on this one just because they did... wait that didn't come out totally correct, did it? AND Paperwork is very important and allows the women of the world to stay home and get dinner ready for us MEN so when we come home we can eat, watch tv and fall asleep on the couch at 7:30. We MEN have learned that if we fall asleep on the couch, at least with one eye closed, that we won't have to change diapers, clean the dishes, or get the kids ready for bed. We have our standards and every woman knows that we have not set them very high when dealing with things around the house anyway! So take that, huh and all men should join me in the garage sleeping with the pooch again when my beautiful wife -- who marvelously and miraculously carried and nourished our five wonderful children and put up with the LARDO on the couch -- reads this. This is going to hurt.
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